So after last week’s filler episode Jess decides that it’s time to get to know Coach better. She is highly offended that he introduced her as ‘his buddy’s girlfriend’. Jess has it set in her mind that Coach should consider her a real friend, not just a friend by association. Her way in? Basketball. Nick tries to tell her that men watch sports to avoid conversation not make it, but it falls on deaf ears.
Nick reveals to Jess that Coach’s favorite team is the Detroit Pistons which he can’t get behind because he himself is a diehard Chicago Bulls fan. Jess agrees to root for the Pistons to win Coach’s friendship but loses Nick’s admiration in the bedroom. Nick turns his sex tap off until she ditches the Pistons jersey Jess being just as stubborn agrees and refuses to crack.
This leads Nick to attempt various different seduction methods, including wearing a pretty short pair of Bulls short. After a confrontation in the hall Jess gets Nick to cave only to turn her tap off until Nick agrees to wear a Pistons jersey. Now it’s really on.
Jess continues her basketball façade until she realizes that maybe Coach can’t be cracked. Fed up she cuts the cable so they can’t watch the game. She happily suggests that they talk and Coach agrees and even adds that they should grab a bite! That lands them in a sports bar to watch more basketball. Jess loses it and comes clean. She just wants Coach to want to be her friend. She wants to share things with him. She calls him a jerk and storms off and he just sits there oblivious.
Nick storms in wearing the Pistons jersey. He just can’t take it anymore. Coach gets a good laugh then explains he doesn’t know what Jess’ issue it. Nick sheds some light on her intentions in guy speak and Coach seems to grasp it a little better. Nick returns home to find Jess in just a Bulls jersey waiting for him. The two finally get their freak on and mid-coitus Coach knocks on the door apologizing and starting to open up. Jess thanks him but turns him away and said they’ll resume at a later date.
Meanwhile Schmidt has decided to take poor Winston under his wing and show him around his office. Instead Schmidt gets stuck coaching a geriatric man named Ed who was hired to combat an ageism lawsuit from their former CEO. Schmidt uses this chance to get a notch higher on the totem pole. He feels bad for poor Ed and lets him in on all his ideas, since clearly Ed is no match for him.
Wrong. Ed stole Schmidt’s idea and is now in direct competition with him. Winston told Schmidt that it was obvious the whole time what Ed’s angle was. In return Winston offers to help him counter attack. Ed’s weakness is technology and Schmidt transfers everything to a laptop. Take that Ed! Embarrassed Ed fakes a heart attack and mumbles to Schmidt that he won that round. You go Schmidt, you go! Back at the bar Winston comes to the realization that he wants to be a cop and both Cece and Schmidt support that idea! Let’s see if that idea actually pans out.